Half-Random Rhymes Read online

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Secrets and errors Naomi had blocked -

  she's guilty of shallow devotion -

  when into a recent rebellion she walked

  and felt her assistant's emotion.

  Against anonymity's essence, he said,

  he would gather the days of his youth

  and carry the bubble of knowledge ahead

  and send up the banner of truth.

  His temperament passionate, kind of like mine

  in my youth, you'll recall if you know me

  he thinks there's a glory to drawing the line...

  but why take it out on Naomi?

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Bowl me over, rough and lively

  bend my faith and temperament

  eat the box of moments nicely

  moments comfortably misspent

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  "Neither vinegar nor turpentine

  could get this gravy out,"

  said Naomi of a stain upon her vest

  "but the form is strongly serpentine...

  Organic? there's no doubt.

  Let the gravy style spill over to the rest!"

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  According to rugged assistants

  to debutantes in The Resistance,

  the center will scatter

  though what does it matter

  when aliens mass in the distance?

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Than Ivy no one's more rambunctious,

  professionals agree,

  in tones so sensitive and unctuous

  with sober certainty

  she heats the room like real fire

  she method acts so deep

  they're challenged by their own desire

  and the learning curve is steep.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  4TH OF JULY

  Today is the wildest festival of fire

  air-style flowers hanging so much higher

  awe-regarding experts glowing from applause

  talent with a match must be digging ooohs and ahhhs

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Beautiful controller, your

  hair is in a roller, for

  you're going with a bowler

  to the wedding of a cop.

  You eye a large flat noodle, in

  your sweater with its poodle, when

  the whole kit and kaboodle

  comes a-crashing to a stop.

  A rosy air of glory, how

  that uncle told a story! Now

  the place seems hunky-dory

  for the sacred Special Op.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Little Wanda Plaster-Caster

  gathered bowls of stuff for Master

  gathered knobs and lucky rocks

  gathered shoes and sucky socks

  worked the beach from tide to tide

  year to year, and then she died.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  The instinct toward watching your mileage

  can decline when your trailer of silage

  exhibiting growth

  and fragility both,

  starts veering your truck off a high ledge.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Caught on tape for all to see

  diving from the balcony...

  Must you catch your brother's hand,

  drag him past the rafters, and

  exercise your right to drop

  ice cubes as you belly flop

  in a pool of white champagne,

  earning everyone's disdain?

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  The silvery glasses of Wanda

  disappeared in the back of her Honda

  every inch she has scoured

  but her specs were devoured

  by Koko, her wild Anaconda.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  When landing in a hopeful dell

  catch the gaze of Honest Nell

  ask for information tawdry

  promise it to Wistful Audrey

  scatter bread down by the bridge

  to call the birds for Simple Midge.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Disjointedly tugging her jumper

  Naomi ad-libbed from the bumper

  of her pink eighteen-wheeler

  that his faith might seem realer

  if the Reverend would quit trying to hump her.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Kimono my house, serious girl

  work out on my Tilt-a-Whirl

  make your quiet circulation

  catch an exercise vacation.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Because of their youthful propensity

  toward serious solid immensity,

  at dinner they scattered

  and would, when it mattered,

  diet with passionate intensity.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Fire keeps emerging

  from the most metallic features

  of the crocodile robots'

  green regard.

  If you'd told me we'd be roasted

  by some inorganic creatures

  we'd have held the barbecue

  out in the yard.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  His fall felt like a rock or two

  was hidden in his sock and you

  were shrieking like a cockatoo

  that's had too much excitement.

  He caught up with infinity

  and bought in to divinity

  within the numb vicinity

  of gravity's indictment.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Cops and monsters work the city,

  looking scary, blue and strong

  cost us all much time and pity

  set up schools for right and wrong

  break down bridges over muddy

  pools where fatal burdens drop

  nonetheless they're buddy-buddy

  reckless monster, brutal cop.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Obliviously eating every onion wisp in sight,

  Naomi fires off a steamy note

  to the lawyers of the neighborhood establishing the right

  of their servants to decline the right to vote.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Meat, my boy, declines all offers

  hangs by hooks and fills your coffers

  up with silver, if you gather

  wasted scraps, but if you'd rather

  drop all that, pursue your studies

  careers in meat go to your buddies.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  The kimono guy bends vegetables within his inner closet

  While watching him on video, the therapist may pause it

  where an onion at the tearing point regards its strange tormentor

  Is this therapist at work, or just some sicko video renter?

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Because there's earth beneath his ears

  and sand between his toes,

  the crocodile will shed no tears,

  imaginary clothes,

  or habits held too easily

  by one so big and deadly

  You bring his meal in queasily -

  his favorite: Three-Being Medley.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  The thieves and leaves are ashen

  as the women and the dwarves

  who remember youthful passion

  in their rooms above the wharves

  Since their faith has been forgotten

  like an anvil gone to rust

  and their temperament grown rotten

  they've found nobody to trust.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Kitchen anesthetic masks an inner discontent

  that the healthy sober bureaucrats suspect

  from our creepy style of housekeeping, where spoons and forks get bent

  like the moral institutions we reject.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Whe
n the plastic books go hiding

  and your talent goes to waste

  and you're selling vinyl siding

  to the witches eating paste

  then it's circus day for dancers

  in their treacherous pink shoes

  though they question your enhancers

  and they shout the mercy blues.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Sleepy Earth sits small and wet

  never dreams it's someone's pet

  in the heavens far away

  the owner shouts, "It's time to play!"

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Place mushrooms in a copper bowl

  and check the beer for rocks

  the meat gets hung from yonder pole

  to roughly shadow box

  for tenderness and seasoning

  before you light the grill

  the neighbors heard your reasoning

  and picnicked on the hill.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Swamping us under with treacherous art,

  the masters of image stand distant

  from that which they sell us at MegaLoMart

  where common good taste's non-existent.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Pretty fancy, magazine men

  glowing red with feeling

  busted in the soup tureen, when

  gazes caught you stealing

  meat and noodles served with class

  to those who dine politely

  not for you who show a pass

  and get ejected nightly.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  An asthmatic but secretive sailor

  has traveled the world in a mailer

  he furthered the stealth mood

  by eating just health food

  and not laughing through his inhaler.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  THANKSGIVING

  A platter of bird flesh, a simple libation

  are reasons I may acquiesce

  but the cranberry cylinder's red corrugation

  is key to Thanksgiving success.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Apparently nothing magnetic

  would stick to the dancer's prosthetic

  "The solution, I feel,

  is an upgrade to steel."

  After that, things were way copacetic.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Brawling with some pupils, the shrewd substitute now reaches

  for the stun gun so essential to the style by which he teaches.

  Though the watered-down curriculum impedes the task he's chosen,

  no compasses or chem labs means less injury, explosion.

  In the corner, when the twitching stops, the students snarl and slaver -

  Thank God they make the parents sign a seventeen-page waiver.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Beneath your frozen dollar bills,

  it all comes down to reckless thrills

  like entering a deadly pool

  of fire on your way to school

  with patchy tires while driving fast -

  quit acting out my sordid past!

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Aside from his special devotion

  to Band-Aids and calamine lotion,

  the child who was bitten

  was certainly smitten

  with holler-based forms of emotion.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Feeling older, Roscoe said,

  emerges as a song

  one you bought on 8-track

  when "enchantment" was too strong

  a word to use for high school hops

  though "exercise" came close

  "in futility," adds Roscoe -

  he's always so morose.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Come downstairs and eat some stuff

  eighty pounds is not enough

  to weigh when you are six foot eight

  so come downstairs and clean your plate.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Muddy blue hair and a dinner balloon

  make Wanda a fashion magician.

  Offered approval for changing her tune,

  she yields to the deadly beautician

  and lets her establish a special equation

  to wiggle a cork of champagne

  through her pink flesh like an open invasion -

  Variety matters, not pain.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Upstairs, downstairs, all around the school

  wherefore, therefore, bending every rule

  tearing up the dance floor, tearing down your mind

  throwing off the burden of a talent too refined

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Where test tubes and deep curiosity

  breed reptiles of fatal ferocity

  the snake-handlers act

  with twice as much tact

  then sudden substantial velocity.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Bowling for mushrooms, affection and bread

  Naomi lets everything go to her head

  exceptions are logic and sometimes champagne

  she's partial to parties that open her brain.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  With her bottle of whisky besotted,

  the ESPN camera spotted

  a gymnastics star

  at an uneven bar

  exceeding her timeframe allotted.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  CHRISTMAS

  Joy to the wombat

  forget about combat

  and hide the map to doom

  Let every wispy girl

  shimmy, jump and twirl

  and not hide in her room

  and not hide in her room

  and no-o-o-o-o-ot hide in her room.